“When I come to SAHELI, I feel like I am coming home.”
Lin first met Jacob on MySpace. She never thought internet dating was for her, until Jacob messaged her one day. At first, she just wanted to learn about American culture and customs, which were very different from her own. She replied to his emails
and thus a romance began. Soon, they started making video calls online. He was humorous and made her laugh.
After many months of online chatting, they decided to meet and he came to China to visit for 9 days. During those 9 days of sightseeing and meeting family, Lin knew they were destined to be together. Before he left to return home to the US, Jacob asked Lin to marry him and of course she said ‘yes’. When he returned home, they continued to stay in touch through online videos, agreeing to talk at the same time everyday. Jacob also asked Lin to delete all her male friends from her MySpace account. She tried to explain that they were old classmates and family members, but he insisted she not talk with any other men. At that time, she thought his actions were a sign of love for her; he wanted to keep her to himself.
Jacob then came to visit again, this time to have an engagement party. Family and friends attended the ceremony and Lin was so happy afterwards. They received blessings of so many who were happy for Lin to be with someone she loved. Jacob then returned home again, Lin longing to be with him. During their daily video chats however, Jacob would accuse Lin of cheating on him if she logged in late. He would then ask her to remove her engagement ring and send it back to him. He explained to her, he was suspicious of her because they were not living together but once she came to the US they would be together and he would have nothing to worry about. So, they began planning her move to the US. During this time of preparation for her move, Lin avoided any contact with her male friends. She even began to stop seeing her female friends. She saw this as a way to prove her love to Jacob.
With the blessings of her family and friends, Lin arrived in the US as Jacob’s fiancé, thinking they would spend the rest of their lives together. Two days after arriving, Jacob came home early from work and told Lin he had lost his job and there was no
way to pay for their bills now. He also informed her that all his credit card debt was because of expenses he paid for her and now she has a responsibility to find a job to help pay for these bills. So the next day, Jacob and Lin went driving to look for jobs.
She found a job at a restaurant and would work on the weekends. One day when Jacob picked her up from work, he asked her how much she had made in tips. He was not happy with her response and she began crying. He was angry with her response then punched her in the head. Lin was so shocked she couldn’t even continue to cry.
After that, his temper got worse and worse. For Jacob, everything Lin did was wrong, and he repeatedly told her she could not talk back. Another day when Lin did not respond, Jacob got angry and again punched her in the face. She tried screaming
and Jacob covered her mouth. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. He then loosened his grip and she grabbed his cell phone to call 911. The police came to the house and she decided she could not live like this anymore. She asked for them to take her
somewhere safe. Lin did not know where she was going or have any idea what the next day would bring her, but she was safe. The police brought her to a local shelter.
The shelter advocates contacted SAHELI. With help from SAHELI and American Gateways, Lin was able to apply for her own green card based on VAWA (Violence Against Women Act). She was also able to get legal assistance to get a divorce from Jacob. She worked two jobs, and was able to find an apartment of her own. Today Lin has a green card, has a good job and a nice place to stay.
On a recent visit to SAHELI Lin remarked that coming to the office was like coming home.
